View From the Bathroom Floor
by non dairy creamer
Summary: She was clueless as to what drew her to this compact space. But it soothed her; she considered it her sanctuary, her place to escape and get away. ONESHOT


**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

She sat on the bathroom floor wondering what the hell her life had come to these days. When she had a second to breathe, she'd be on her bathroom floor doing absolutely nothing. She didn't know what about this bathroom's floor she liked, whether it was the coolness of the tiled floor beneath her or the pale green walls surrounding her. Maybe it was the fact no one knew she was in her that gave her a small adrenalin rush for no reason. She was clueless as to what drew her to this compact space. But it soothed her; she considered it her sanctuary, her place to escape and get away.

Today she was in here to think, no tears would be shed. She promised that to herself. She wasn't going to cry today. Not again. Her head fell back and rested on the sink, she looked up. And then she thought of the real reason she came here to think. What had her life come to?

She wasn't a bad girl, she respected her curfew. She did everything her dad asked of her, she ate all her vegetables. So why was she being punished? Was it because she thought her life was bland? Sure, you think "how can her life be bland, she's Hannah Montana!" But Miley, she thought otherwise. Hannah was cool and all, but she believed they were two different people. Miley's Miley life was slipping through her fingers and Hannah started eating away with her, taking over.

Miley's friends hadn't surfaced for the last two months. Her best friends decided to go and start playing tonsil hockey, leaving Miley to just sit there, debating on whether to be the third wheel or the loner. She decided it'd be polite to stay to herself from now on, and so she did. At lunch she sat alone, ate her food then lost her face in a tabloid for the rest of the period. She didn't understand why she read all that shit about herself. But it soothed her; she liked slipping into the Hannah world for just a split second.

Miley did have other friends, some of the boy sort. She had gotten back together with teenage idol heartthrob Jake Ryan. But he went to film a movie in Russia and never called. She hasn't seen him since. Last week when she went to the movies (party of one), she saw a poster for his new movie, she went searching in her purse and found her eyeliner. She fucked with his face, so she got kicked out of the movie theater, and of course, she was grounded. But it soothed her; she liked the feeling of being a rule breaker, she thought it made her look like she had an opinion.

Miley always used to know that she could confide in her father, but that changed recently. He started to act more like her manager than her dad, and she hated that. Plus, he had a girlfriend who hated Miley because she "took attention away." Miley hated her too, no doubt about that, but she wished deep down they could be friends. Miley wanted that female figure in her life that she could go to since her mother had lost her life a couple years back. But Miley claimed to be over it.

Miley wanted to know what she could do to get her dad back. She thought acting out would get his attention; she wanted to be noticed by him as his daughter, not his moneymaker. She snuck out of the house one night and went to a party. This party had a truckload of booze, drugs and guys. She knew if she, just for one night, drank like there was no tomorrow and came home drunk, he'd have to notice her, even if it was him yelling at her. He was still acting like a father.

So she did as she wished and came home smashed. But there was no dad in sight, just a note that said he was out with Rachel. Miley sighed, getting a whiff of her alcohol breath and then became extremely queasy. She ended up vomiting for the next hour with no one to hold her hair back. Her brother came home and found her on the bathroom floor. He asked what happen, and she simply said, "I drank my brains out." He yelled at her and gave her a good lecture on why not to drink. She was annoyed as hell, he had no right. But it soothed her; she finally felt like _someone_ cared about her wellbeing and not just her money.

Speaking of her brother, Jackson dropped out of college and moved back home. Miley and Jackson grew a strange bond when everyone left her. He was the only one who promised he wouldn't leave, and she believed him. Little did she know, Jackson was applying for colleges, realizing he made an idiotic mistake dropping out (they wouldn't accept him back). Finally, a college in Washington accepted him and he announced the news, causing Miley to crack. The day he was leaving she refused to hug him, talk to him even.

The only words that fell from her lips were "You promised you would never leave me like everyone else did." Jackson apologized, but was on his was within an hour. He looked shaken up by her silence. She liked that he got to hurt like she did. Her dad thought she was being cruel and grounded her again. But she didn't give a shit because it soothed her; knowing Jackson felt some of her pain.

Thinking of all that made Miley get a chill in her spine, but she ignored the personal warnings she was about to break down.

She started to think of Hannah's life. Miley's simplicity wasn't enough for her, she needed more, she needed attention because of the lack of attention at home. She felt that Hannah let her have that attention so easily, all she had to do was walk out of somewhere with the Hannah wig on. And then snap! Instant attention. Sure, she got nasty hate mail and was talked about in random magazines. But it soothed her; at least someone cared enough to say they hated her when they could have kept it to themselves.

Hannah's friends were leeches; they said what Hannah wanted to hear so they could get in good with the big ones. Tracey was one of those. She and Hannah were best friends, she did everything Hannah wanted. If it was to get her a coffee at a show or just to listen to her problems. Tracey was just a new Lola, only she only did stuff for Hannah because she wanted stuff. Hannah hated it deep down, but not enough to confront Tracey about it.

Hannah had a boyfriend. But they weren't really dating. It was a publicity stunt, country fans would listen to Hannah and pop fans would listen to Drake Foy. Their managers agreed on it, and so did Hannah and Drake. They showed up places together and formed a nice friendship, but when the day was done, he went home to his real girlfriend. It annoyed Hannah deep down, she wanted him to herself. But it soothed her; feeling like the other woman, feeling needed, wanted.

Hannah's relationship with her manager wasn't your typical manager/client relationship. They were friends. Robbie Ray would call her out when she was doing something right, he gave her pep talks, he was like a dadager, but he wasn't Hannah Montana's father, he was Miley Stewart's. But the second the wig (and his mustache) came off, they went back to their strained father/daughter relationship, him only calling her out when she did something wrong, his pep talks faded with time.

She didn't understand why Hannah got a better life than her. She had friends, a boyfriend, and her dad. Everything had been going great for her. Hannah Montana was a happy camper, and Miley was just the girl who wondered away from her tent and can't find it, she's wounded and starving.

Miley got another chill down her spine, a sign of weakness, the tears near. She stood up and straightened out her shirt. She looked at the counter, her eyes landing on a pair of scissors. She smiled. She grabbed them then looked up at her reflection in the mirror. Her brown curly hair flowed past her shoulders, falling close to her bellybutton. She brought the scissors to her curls, closed her eyes and then opened them again. Her hair was Hannah length now.

She opened the box of hair dye she had bought and applied it to her naturally brown hair. An hour later she rinsed it out, blow dried then flat ironed. She was a perfect bottle-blonde now, she looked just like Hannah Montana now, for all she cared, she _was_ Hannah Montana. She smiled at herself in the mirror, she was happy with her new, _permanent_ appearance, her _one_, and permanent identity. "Hello Hannah." She laughed.

She was Hannah Montana, international superstar for good. She left Miley just like everyone else had, so what she felt bad? She had a damn well excuse.

It soothed her.

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**A/N: Okay, I'm not sure about this one- it's my first HM anything. I'm not sure what I was aiming at here, just random writing. Let me know what you thought (REVIEW!!!)… I'm not sure about this one.**


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